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Adding a new cognitive element usually means transforming theological interpretations and challenging antigay beliefs. Strategies corresponding to the third category typically include no longer engaging in same-sex relationships and sexual behaviors, and participating in ex-gay programs also known as conversion therapy Ibid. In this case, LGB individuals separated their religious identity and sexual identity to avoid tension, but do not reconcile or integrate the two aspects Anderson et al.

Scholars such as Richard Pitt b use a different framework to distinguish between identity conflict, identity compartmentalization and identity integration. From this view, attempts to renounce one of the two identities — either rejecting religious identity or sexual identity — , reveal an unsolved identity conflict for LGB individuals. Identity compartmentalization allows reconciliation but not integration. LGB Christians who practice strategies such as transforming theological meaning and finding affirming congregation are seen as actually integrating their religious identity and sexual orientation Bowland et al.

Processes contributing to different levels of conflict and reconciliation are not fully understood and therefore require further investigation. As Cognitive Dissonance Theory suggests, the more salient identities are to an individual, the more likely one will experience severe dissonance Festinger , However, most studies examining LGB Christians have neither explicitly distinguished the sequence of identity development — whether religious identity preceded sexual orientation identity or vice versa — nor considered its impact, which may be another factor associated with the level of conflict, reconciliation and selection of strategies.

Research on LGB Christians and queer theology: cultural differences Although considerable research has focused on LGB individuals affiliated with Christianity, cultural and ethnic variations have not been adequately studied.

Most literature has been generated in the context of the U. One of the most early and well-known work in the U. He revealed that while members of both groups share many core belief of Christianity, they are on opposing sides when it comes to dealing with homosexuality. Specifically, gay Christians in MCC interpreted their sexuality positively and sought to integrate their gay identity with their faith while ex-gay Christians in Exodus considered homosexuality as a sin and sought to expel it from their lives.

It serves as a theological foundation for LGBT or queer Christians to reconcile their faith, sexuality or gender.

Little research has examined the relationship between Christianity and views on sexuality in China, and studies directly focusing on LGB Christians are rare, especially in mainland. Examples of a gay and a bisexual female Christian in the report indicated that they had experienced conflicts between religious doctrines and their sexual minority identities. Based on her participant observation in a Tongzhi fellowship in Xiamen and interviews with five Tongzhi Christians members, the author examined the struggles and feelings they had when experiencing tensions between their religious belief and sexual orientation, and how they seek for co-existence and integration of their two identities.

Introduction

How Tongzhi Christians, as a minority in the Tongzhi community and a perceived deviant group in the conservative Chinese Christian community, resolve potential dissonance and achieve identity integration in a double marginalized position will be the focus of this study. This study also investigates the hypotheses proposed by Cognitive Dissonance theory in terms of the potential sources of conflicts for Christians who identify as sexual minorities that may derive from incompatible identities or beliefs, and the different strategies in practice in order to achieve consistency within themselves.

In the context of China, a country with a non-religious majority, the intersection of Christian faith and Tongzhi sexuality manifest on Tongzhi Christians poses additional research challenges due to the vulnerability of the population; as such, the present study will help to yield valuable and meaningful insights into an understudied but important phenomenon.

Considering the rise of religion Y. United Nations Development Programme. Methodology A. Choice of Method I conducted in-depth personal interviews with respondents who self-identify as Christian and as lesbian, gay, or bisexual LGB. The qualitative approach is appropriate for addressing the research questions I propose because the study is primarily exploratory, and little is known in terms of how LGB Christians in China make meaning of their faith and sexuality, and whether potential dissonance arises between the two identities.

In contrast to other qualitative methods, such as ethnography, which allows deeper understanding of the ways social actors interact and perform certain social norms through participant observation, and focus groups which are useful for identifying group norms and patterns, in-depth interviews are more effective at discovering how individuals construct meanings and their motivations behind such construction Weiss To achieve deeper understanding of what being LGB Christians means to them, I utilized a semi-structured interview protocol, with open-ended questions designed to elicit rich and nuanced responses from respondents.

Recruitment and Sampling Considering the qualitative nature of the study and difficulties in identifying and accessing eligible respondents, I recruited a purposive quota sample see chart in Appendix A of LGB Christians in two urban cities of China: Beijing and Chengdu.

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These two locations were selected because they are regional hubs and big urban cities with larger and easier access to LGB Christian populations than rural centers. Eligible participants had to self-identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual and Christian, and reside primarily in these two cities. In total, twelve participants were recruited and consented into the study.

One transgender-identified respondents was also recruited for an interview, but her experience turned out to be quite different from that of LGB-identifying respondents.

To protect confidentiality, only oral consent was obtained prior to each interview. Institutional Review Board Approval for all study procedures was obtained from the University of Chicago. I visited several places where the two fellowships held regular gatherings in the form of worship, Bible study and other activities.

I contacted the leaders in advance and made short recruitment announcements about the study during their gatherings to allow interested respondents to approach me on the spot or contact me later. I also used the snowball sampling method to recruit eligible respondents through those who had already participated. Although the sample was relatively young and well- educated, there was still some variability in terms of age and educational attainment. The participant profile see Appendix A illustrates the demographic characteristics of the sample.

Among all twelve interviewees, five identified as cisgender females and seven as cisgender males. The youngest participant was twenty-five and the oldest was fifty-seven. The majority of interviewees, seven out of twelve, were aged 31 to 40, while four were between the ages of 25 to All converted to Christianity within the past ten years except for the oldest respondent, who became a Christian more than fifteen years ago. In terms of denomination, two were affiliated with Roman Catholicism and the rest considered themselves Protestants but no specific denominations were identified under Protestantism.

Instrument s As the sole administrator, I conducted all interviews one-on-one, either in person or via Webex, a secure online platform for video-meeting. Most interviews were conducted face-to-face while I was conducting my fieldwork in China. A semi-structured interview guide see Appendix B with mostly open-ended questions was designed in advance and used as a reference.

Each respondent was interviewed once. The interviews were conducted in Mandarin Chinese and all but one were audio-recorded. Detailed field and interview notes were taken for a single interviewee who declined to be audio recorded. The length of the interviews ranged from 50 to minutes.

Data Analysis Audio recordings were transcribed verbatim using a secure online software, yielding over a hundred pages of qualitative data. Transcription and analysis were all done in Mandarin Chinese, the original language through which respondents communicated with the researcher in the interviews. Only selected quotes used in the paper were translated into English.

I have received professional training in Chinese-to-English translation as an undergraduate majoring in English Language and Literature in China, thus was able to ensure basic linguistic equivalence. Pseudonyms are used in the paper and other potentially identifying information such as school, church or work location have also been deleted or disguised as necessary.

Two layers of coding were applied to analyze the interview data, Structural Coding, and Open Coding. Coded segments in response to the same research question or topic were grouped together for further analysis. Structural Coding is particularly useful because of the semi-structured interview protocol that involves multiple participants. With Cognitive Dissonance Theory providing the grounds for exploring meaning making around sexual identity and religious identity among LGB Christians in China, all respondents were asked three major questions: to describe the potential dissonance experienced between faith and sexuality, the process of seeking answers, and strategies to resolve dissonance and achieve integration.

Relevant chunks of data that came up in the interviews were thus easily identified with the structural coding method based on these three major themes, under which detailed analysis yielded richer findings, such as the various strategies practiced by LGB Christians in China to resolve dissonance and cultivate a positive sense of self. In addition to Structural Coding, Open Coding was applied in the course of analysis. Open Coding is particularly important as it lets unexpected themes emerge and the data to speak for itself.

Codes applied in this layer were largely tentative at first and were occasionally reworded as the analysis progressed.

Executive Summary

In Vivo Coding is especially important in this study as LGB Christians in China are a marginalized community with little visibility in the society, whose voices have not been heard. Overall, most lesbian, gay and bisexual Christians in the study have experienced dissonance between their faith and sexuality, but to different extents.

While LGB Christians in the study have sought answers via multiple channels as they struggle to manage conflicting elements, the majority identified gay pastors and Tongzhi fellowships as helpful sources that effectively facilitate their dissonance resolution and identity integration. In addition, respondents have used various dissonance-resolving strategies, with transforming theological interpretations as the most critical one that truly enables them to integrate faith and sexuality. These themes are discussed in greater detail below. But as time went by, as I became more involved in the Tongzhi community, and my faith became more solid, the conflict grew more intense.

Indeed, his story is not a unique one. The majority of lesbian, gay and bisexual Christians interviewed for this study reported having experienced dissonance between their faith and sexuality.

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Across interviews, respondents described the feeling of being torn between the two forces as if they were battling against each other. If I want to live a Christian life, I have to give up a life as a Tongzhi. I felt that I was torn between God and Devil. I was terrified. A noticeable consequence of the conflict between faith and sexuality is that respondents reported frequently having negative emotions and sometimes suffering from mental health disorders.

Fear, anxiety, and guilt were the most commonly mentioned feelings as respondents struggle to resolve dissonance. Many experienced extreme fear for losing salvation of their souls and the eternal life.

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A few respondents, including Jonathan, told me that they suffered from clinical depression at times of fierce inner struggles. I even thought whatever I did, God would give me special treatment. Another pattern observed from the interviews is that, because most respondents did not grow up in Christian families, they typically developed their Tongzhi identities prior to religious exploration and conversion. According to LGB Christians in this study, dissonance commonly arose some time after their exposure to Christianity and the conflicts tended to grow more intense as their faith and LGB identities consolidated at the same time.

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