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It was in Calabar, the capital of Cross River, the third state he had visited in recent months, that Mr Fani-Kayode lost his cool when Charles asked him about the financing of his trips: "Sir, please you did not disclose to us who is bankrolling you…". Instead of even allowing the journalist to finish his question, a fuming Mr Fani-Kayode called him "very stupid" and alleged that he looked like a poor man who collected bribes, known here as "brown envelopes", from newsmakers.

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I too have had an encounter with him, when he was in government serving in the cabinet of then-President Olusegun Obasanjo more than a decade ago. It went beyond an insult.

It took place at the presidential villa, known as Aso Rock, where he threatened to slap me, prompting other journalists to come between us. I had no idea at the time why he was angry; it was only later I understood it was to do with controversial comments he had made in a live interview he had given to the BBC about Mr Obasanjo's third term ambitions. The interview became hot news and he took his anger out on me as the BBC reporter on the ground at the time. Some months back, the governor of south-eastern Ebonyi state banished two journalists from practising there over what he said was their penchant for writing negative reports about the state.

Media reaction to the governor's order led to a reversal of the banishment. Several years ago at the Daily Trust, we had to pull out a reporter from a state after some thugs beat him up at a public event after the state governor took exception to his reports. In its comment on the recent Fani-Kayode incident, Amnesty International condemned the manner in which the journalist was treated.

The public outcry has now forced Mr Fani-Kayode to apologise to the journalist - though he is still threatening to take the Daily Trust newspaper and one of its columnists to court over the matter. Clearly this is not the last to be heard on the uneasy relationship between the media and Nigeria's newsmakers. Aside from threats and verbal attacks, there are also subtle ways in which the media in Nigeria, and I dare say in many other African countries, is hobbled.

Some government organisations and big companies deny advertising to outlets they consider have given them unfavourable coverage. Finally, in December, he was hired as a driver for a transport company. While he was in police detention, they were told their father had been on television.

I explained to them that the police can arrest anybody at any time. Most returned the greeting, but some, particularly men, seemed reluctant to acknowledge him, barely nodding in response and looking away. Wedding photos of Oguaghamba, known to most people by his Christian name Miracle, and his wife, Juliette, take pride of place on the living room walls.

But as the couple discussed the case with a visiting journalist recently, they rarely made eye contact; he looked at the floor, and she fixed her gaze straight ahead. While he was being detained, Juliette sent protection money to an inmate so he would be spared the beatings that he says many of the others he was arrested with were subjected to. Aside from the money, there was the indignity of a policewoman at the station accusing Juliette of having a gay husband.

Finally, relations improved after a family meeting was convened at which her elder sister acted as a mediator between the couple.

It makes me angry because he lost a lot. The house was dark at the time because the electricity had been turned off weeks after the annual rent was due in October. Oguaghamba said he was able to pay some, but not all, of the money. Oguaghamba said he was angry at the way his life had been upended. The Lagos police force has yet to disclose what its officers saw during the raid that led to the charge of public displays of same-sex affection against Oguaghamba and the other men. Since the November arraignment, the judge has adjourned the case three times because prosecution lawyers were unable to produce their witnesses.

Police officials rejected a Reuters request for the police commissioner to provide details of the evidence that prompted the mass arrest and charges. Edgal, the commissioner who said he personally ordered the raid, left office early last year for a commissioner position in southern Nigeria. But in a wide-ranging media briefing with journalists in January, the current Lagos commissioner, Hakeem Odumosu, spoke broadly about the application of the same-sex law.

But based on reports of mass police raids, Reuters estimates that the number is likely to run into the hundreds each year. Information is also scarce on the number of prosecutions, but activist groups say they know of none.

THE FAMILY MAN

The accusation of extortion and police harassment also has been leveled by international rights campaigners. In a report, Human Rights Watch cited a number of alleged victims of police officers who had used the threat of a prison sentence to extort money from them.

Enyinna Nwigwe

In interviews with Reuters, five people who acknowledged having same-sex relationships said that police in Lagos use that fear and the threat of the law to extort money from men. Nigerian police have repeatedly denied the claim. Cases are infrequent, however, which means the punishment is rarely carried out. Gay people in Lagos say they live in fear of their sexuality becoming publicly known. Members of the gay community said they arrange discreet private gatherings such as house parties in the homes of friends. Many also turn to dating apps and social media to set up romantic liaisons.

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When he was a child, Chris Agiriga said, his aunt gave him a home after his mother left Lagos to pursue a new life. JV gets hit on regularly. Speak of an amazing confidence booster! Her store is a hip clothing outlet so it attracts youngsters, including upcoming artistes. When he comes, we go just dey laugh.

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We see too many of them especially on the weekends. They come because we have very stylish things. The girls love the cuts of our T-shirts. Some of them walk in and pick up an item or two before heading to the changing room. She spoke specifically about a cute couple in their early twenties. One of them shops at the store and her partner accompanies her.

Really hot girls. By the time they get to the back of the store, because the shop is long, they are already making out. Then they go into the fitting room and come out all laughing. They might walk out with a T-shirt or a pair of joggers. I go there because they are fast and cheap. Picture a ton of young women crammed into a small and very hot space, cranking out weaves and braids, sweatshop-style. Then picture a tall, skinny young man with platinum blonde hair, multiple ear piercings and bright blue contact lenses.

THE POLICE

He is normally caught wearing skinny jeans and a tank top that shows off his tattooed back. He goes by the name Tanya. Tanya manages the store and is the lead hair stylist.

If you are lucky enough to have Tanya work on your hair, he will talk you out but he will fix your hair perfectly. Tanya is so out that I did not need a preamble to ask him if he would contribute to this piece. I simply asked where he likes to hang out and he said his favourite hangouts are gay parties. Once they have been vetted, the coordinates for the party are sent to them.

A gay man or woman is probably hitting on your husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend or mum or dad. At those anything-goes parties, Tanya prefers to be approached. His style is feigning lack of interest.

But I wanted to know how fast Tanya could tell if a man was approaching him for, you know, gay stuff.

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