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A tightly packed circle is formed and those in the centre of the circle are groped by those on the periphery. To outsiders it looks like a writhing mass of men huddling around one another. Some even describe it as a "mysterious religious ceremony".

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For participants, it's anonymous group sex. Most Pakistanis view homosexuality as sinful.

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The vast majority of clerics interpret the Qoranic story of Lot as a clear indication that God condemns homosexual men. Some scholars go even further and recommend Sharia-based punishment for "men who have sex with men". He claims to have slept with more than 3, men during his working life - despite having two wives and eight children.

One of his wives, Sumera, wears a burka and the niqab, but she has no objection to her husband's chosen profession and wishes more people would keep an open mind.

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No problem. If he doesn't work how will the kids eat? I get angry when people call them names. People are stuck in their ways. Sumera's position may appear surprising, but in fact it's not hard to understand, says Qasim Iqbal. This is often seen as a part of growing up and it can be overlooked by families - it's the idea that 'boys will be boys'," he says. At the end of it all, everyone gets married to a member of the opposite sex and nothing is spoken about. Technically, homosexual acts are illegal in Pakistan. The British introduced laws criminalising what is described as sex "against the order of nature" in the colonial era.

Sharia-based laws dating from the s also lay down punishments for same-sex sexual activity. In practice, though, these laws are rarely enforced, and the issue tends to be dealt with inside the family. When the police wouldn't back down the family asked for one detail to be changed - they wanted their son to be presented as the active sexual partner. For them, their son being passive would be even more shameful.

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In almost all cases charges will be dropped, Iqbal says, but the boys will be forced to get married by their families. Just occasionally, though, Pakistani parents do reconcile themselves to children entering a long-term gay relationship. I took the time to talk to her and convince her that I was a good person.

That was first and foremost. It wasn't about 'coming out' in a formal sense. It's more important to convince Ali's family that I'm a good human being. She said she was giving it to me because she knew I 'take care of things'. It was a kind gesture and a very personal kind of acceptance. Akbar and Ali have now set up home together with the support of their families. Akbar has a good relationship with Ali's mother. At the end of the night she goes to her room and Ali and I will retire to our room.

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Sure she knows what is going on. We don't have to have a big discussion about it. Stories like this are, however, exceptionally rare. For many gay men in Pakistan, a heterosexual marriage and a life of anonymous groping is the long-term reality.

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