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Like go out dancing for example.

Those experiences were so much more fun to the point that I just lost interest in hosting guys. I went in to CS with an open mind and hosted almost anyone that sent a request, but over time you start discovering what type of people you enjoy spending time with and for many men, that will end up being attractive single women. Recently I was curious about how many guys were on the site to hookup. So I set up a fake profile of an attractive girl. I got over a few dozen replies within the course of a week and random guys just sending messages trying to get me out for a drink.

I guess none of this is surprising, but what WAS surprising is that not even one single woman offered a couch. Not ONE. They would confess that they tried to find a female host but none of them ever reply so they end up staying with guys.

So for all the women that complain about guys on the site trying to sleep with young foreign girls, do you offer these girls your couch? Keep in mind I asked these girls about it long before the recent changes. I think this situation has been the case with CS for some time now. Is this anything new? If this is a problem, it can be solved overnight. They can make the site so you can only couch surf with someone of the same sex. When women search for a couch only female hosts will show up and when men search only male hosts will show up.

'SNL' fires comedian over racist Chinese slur

Of course the problem is, CS would fold overnight. But there is a middle ground.

Have I ever tried to hook up with my female surfers, yes. Have some of these female surfers ever started flirting with me? Have I ever done anything inappropriate? Sometimes the vibe is just there and you go with it. I have no expectations that any woman will want to hook up. I just witnessed something like this recently. A girl posted a request in a local forum. Guys pile on to invite her like usual.

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I end up going to a party that night that was advertised on the forum and saw her there with a guy that hosted her. Before you know it I see them drinking, dancing and making it out. I can guess what happened later that night. Seemed they both had a great time. Not about drinking and shagging and boring others to death. A couple of years ago, there used to be nice activities within the couchsurfing spirit and the travel theme. So I ask myself.

WTF is happening to couchsurfing? I guess what I mean to say is that couchsurfing should not be primarily about hooking up. My rule when hosting women is first and foremost to not be inappropriate or act like I expect them to hook up with me in exchange for housing. I left it alone after that and just enjoyed their company platonically. I still got good references from them. Just seemed like he was talking about how to get consensual sex from women that he hosts or meets off the site. I see it too cavalierly thrown out there.

You are cheapening the word if anything. Since men seem to not want to host each other and prefer only hosting women, naturally the men will request couches from women. A gendered CS will inevitably not work, and less and less people will be able to find hosts.

Intercultural Communication | De Gruyter

I;ve been hosted by loads of woman. Also many people chose to only host women because they think they are more trustworthy. I personally love to host single women because they are generally open minded, adventurous and independant. Even in this thread of passionate surfers, there are some seriously problematic assumptions. In the entire history of CS, nothing has been so compelling as verification, vouching, and references for improving the safety and trust of CS interactions. It has been a decade since that system was put in place.

How do we get community back? I mean, a calculated and planned attack on vulnerable women. And yes, there are female predators too. However the overwhelming majority are men because in our world, men inherently occupy a greater position of financial, political and physical power, and for these reasons I do consider male predators a greater threat. Needle, I believe CS was always a bit flawed from the get go in that it started with one guy, centralised control.

As much as we all like to believe it was a community, that aspect was secondary to the fact that it was an establishment created by one person.

Local, National, and Transnational Trajectories

A healthy community can either progress with or without centralised control — if with central control, that control should be democratically elected and periodically challenged. CS is just a microcosm of the real world. If people find themselves in unsafe situations on CS, chances are it would have happened in the real world as well.

However, I also believe that sometimes the best thing a vulnerable person can learn in our society is how to not be taken advantage of, or at least how to mitify that danger. CS is a network of travellers with a goal to facillitate cultural awareness through direct contact. Other social issues may progress through CS groups and other offshoots, but that was never part of the original ethic. Personally I thought the system of providing references and vouching was fine. It was basically a voting system by the people for the people.

The Rise and Fall of Couchsurfing

If I were to make one rule, it would be that anyone who surfs or hosts someone who doesn;t have a reference, MUST leave them a reference. That would fix the problem of these millions of new people joining who have NO history, and therefore, lower chances to participate.

CS is not perfect. But are we forgetting that it never was?

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The same problems exist that always did, just on a larger scale now. My solution to that problem is simply to double my efforts to weed out the freeloaders. In my area that has changed, and I think a lot of others agree that it is now something different. I think my big point is that when CS was a young org it could get away with a lot. Now it is older and ought to be more mature on account of that. I love taking new people rock climbing, but they need to be able to communicate.

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